aangnog:

masturbation is just having sex with the person you love the most

(Source: terrakion)

tsarcasm:

trapsical:

I took a shit in my grandma’s cat’s litterbox when I was like 13 and my whole family was wilding out trying to figure out why the cat took such a huge dump. Then they took her to the vet and we found out she has feline HIV so in a way, I helped her.

this story was wild from start to finish

christmasbarakat:

my dad is a cop and i just called him and he was like “hey i have a 17 year old boy in the back of my cop car right now that i’m running him to the station” and i asked if he was cute and my dad said “Hey, my daughter wants to know if you’re cute” and the guy said “i want to say yes, sir” and my dad started laughing so fucking hard

(Source: ahcalamity)

so-personal:

everything personal♡

so-personal:

everything personal♡

dolphinboy420:

WHY DO COMPLIMENTS MAKE ME FEEL 2% BETTER BUT INSULTS MAKE ME FEEL 87% WORSE I DONT LIKE THAT

(Source: bluelava3)